10 stupid ways to increase traffic to your site!

  1. Start a stupid top ten list.
  2. Put the good hints up front.
  3. Make the last item of the list a good one.
  4. Split the list before you get to the filler.
  5. Pack it full of filler.
  6. Refer to another item on the list as this adds filler, like number 5 above.
  7. Split the list over several pages as each page counts as a view for your adverts.
  8. Drag it out to ten items, because it seems like the right amount.
  9. Use promising filler before a useful last item.
  10. Mention how cool/stupid Twitter is as comment-bait. If you don’t know what Twitter is, mention Apple vs PC and take an indefensible side.

Then, write a paragraph to say some bullshit that has a few SEO terms, like SEO or MLM and watch the link farms link back for the trackbacks and backlinks as the circle-jerk inflates itself by one. Oh, and solicit comments by begging and then tweet the list without using a URL shortener. Comments?

Update: 2009-04-17

  1. Come back later and add an 11th point.

Jared Earle is a writer, photographer and systems administrator. You can find him on Twitter most of the time.

  • Surely 11 ways would have been better than 10??

  • I must not forget to reply to the comments just so the original commenter, Steve, has to come back to read my reply to his comment, creating another click.

    Yes, Steve, an excellent point you should expand on, increasing the interest in my shitty site.

  • Now you need to throw in some AdSense ads, maybe some affiliate marketing, offer the ability to sign-up to your newsletter and sell subscriptions to a membership site where you’ll explain “how to make money online,” buy some geo-targeted traffic and maybe spend a few bucks on an AdWords campaign, do some A/B testing and bam! Profit! Did I miss anything out? hehe

  • Mabont

    What the hell is Twitter? Soundslike bollocks to me and who forgot selling textlinks on site to help cover hosting costs?

    Please follow this on…http://blahblahblah.com


  • Hang on, shouldn’t each one be on a separate page?

  • You added magic number 11, quality!

  • Interesting post but i’m unsure that should we go for all of ten consequently or one by one ?

  • LOL nice one, Jared 😉 this made me laugh

  • lbutlr

    #6 is the most important, shouldn’t it be #2?

  • Spadge

    I know a guy who buys apple macs but doesn’t run osx on them as he prefers windows.

    Now that’s what I call SMRT.

  • Oh, and make sure there’s a link to something like iPhone Spy App somewhere. That adds to the spamminess.

  • Which blog post of mine attracts the most Spam. this one: http://23x.net/117 /via @jearle. Mr Earle I forget how funny U R. Merry Xmas

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    We are glad to present to you our web site Pain[normally I would delete Spam comments, but in this case, they add to the comment count, so I’ll leave them].com. Here you can learn detailed information about pain relief methods and great number of pain relief products reviews.

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