10 stupid ways to increase traffic to your site!

  1. Start a stupid top ten list.
  2. Put the good hints up front.
  3. Make the last item of the list a good one.
  4. Split the list before you get to the filler.
  5. Pack it full of filler.
  6. Refer to another item on the list as this adds filler, like number 5 above.
  7. Split the list over several pages as each page counts as a view for your adverts.
  8. Drag it out to ten items, because it seems like the right amount.
  9. Use promising filler before a useful last item.
  10. Mention how cool/stupid Twitter is as comment-bait. If you don’t know what Twitter is, mention Apple vs PC and take an indefensible side.

Then, write a paragraph to say some bullshit that has a few SEO terms, like SEO or MLM and watch the link farms link back for the trackbacks and backlinks as the circle-jerk inflates itself by one. Oh, and solicit comments by begging and then tweet the list without using a URL shortener. Comments?

Update: 2009-04-17

  1. Come back later and add an 11th point.

Jared Earle is a writer, photographer and systems administrator. You can find him on Twitter most of the time.