10 stupid ways to increase traffic to your site!

  1. Start a stupid top ten list.
  2. Put the good hints up front.
  3. Make the last item of the list a good one.
  4. Split the list before you get to the filler.
  5. Pack it full of filler.
  6. Refer to another item on the list as this adds filler, like number 5 above.
  7. Split the list over several pages as each page counts as a view for your adverts.
  8. Drag it out to ten items, because it seems like the right amount.
  9. Use promising filler before a useful last item.
  10. Mention how cool/stupid Twitter is as comment-bait. If you don’t know what Twitter is, mention Apple vs PC and take an indefensible side.

Then, write a paragraph to say some bullshit that has a few SEO terms, like SEO or MLM and watch the link farms link back for the trackbacks and backlinks as the circle-jerk inflates itself by one. Oh, and solicit comments by begging and then tweet the list without using a URL shortener. Comments?

Update: 2009-04-17

  1. Come back later and add an 11th point.

Jared Earle is a writer, photographer and systems administrator. You can find him on Twitter most of the time.

Posted in blogs
  • http://stevenwilkin.com Steve

    Surely 11 ways would have been better than 10??

  • http://www.23x.net Jared Earle

    I must not forget to reply to the comments just so the original commenter, Steve, has to come back to read my reply to his comment, creating another click.

    Yes, Steve, an excellent point you should expand on, increasing the interest in my shitty site.

  • http://stevenwilkin.com Steve

    Now you need to throw in some AdSense ads, maybe some affiliate marketing, offer the ability to sign-up to your newsletter and sell subscriptions to a membership site where you’ll explain “how to make money online,” buy some geo-targeted traffic and maybe spend a few bucks on an AdWords campaign, do some A/B testing and bam! Profit! Did I miss anything out? hehe

  • Mabont

    What the hell is Twitter? Soundslike bollocks to me and who forgot selling textlinks on site to help cover hosting costs?

    Please follow this on…http://blahblahblah.com

    😉

  • http://www.paulbaily.com PaulNoJustPaul

    Hang on, shouldn’t each one be on a separate page?

  • http://stevenwilkin.com Steve

    You added magic number 11, quality!

  • http://www.itbuzz.co.cc IT Buzz

    Interesting post but i’m unsure that should we go for all of ten consequently or one by one ?

  • http://kovshenin.com kovshenin

    LOL nice one, Jared 😉 this made me laugh

  • lbutlr

    #6 is the most important, shouldn’t it be #2?

  • http://twitter.com/lysidium/status/2059512968 Ian Foster
  • Spadge

    I know a guy who buys apple macs but doesn’t run osx on them as he prefers windows.

    Now that’s what I call SMRT.

  • http://www.23x.net Jared Earle

    Oh, and make sure there’s a link to something like iPhone Spy App somewhere. That adds to the spamminess.

  • http://twitter.com/victor_gibson/status/7061895116 victor_gibson

    Which blog post of mine attracts the most Spam. this one: http://23x.net/117 /via @jearle. Mr Earle I forget how funny U R. Merry Xmas

  • Nina

    All about skin care and treatments you will learn on our web site My[normally I would delete Spam comments, but in this case, they add to the comment count, so I’ll leave them]Care.com. On this blog you will find great number of useful articles about permanent hair removal and skin care tips.

  • Suzana

    We are glad to present to you our web site Pain[normally I would delete Spam comments, but in this case, they add to the comment count, so I’ll leave them].com. Here you can learn detailed information about pain relief methods and great number of pain relief products reviews.

  • Samuel8750

    Before you can take your vehicle out it is important that you have a lift kit installed on your vehicle. The lift kit will raise the frame farther from the wheels so you have more ground clearance. This way you are less likely to become stuck on a pile of salomon s sand.Critical Thinking usually includes, but is not limited to, developing a vision, clarifying mission, setting goals, identifying tasks, and surveying existing resources. Critical Thinking also often plans for future evaluation of progress, a means to adjust the plan, and a clear understanding of what success will look like.All this sounds very serious.It got many Annual Annie Awards for its story writing, character animation, directing the animated series; the Genesis Award for Outstanding Children’s Programming in 2007; the Primetime Emmy award for Outstanding Animated Program and Individual Achievement Award and a Peabody Award in 2008. It was also received Nickelodeon Kid’s Choice Award for Favorite Cartoon. It also received the nominations Golden Reel Awards and Annecy International Animated Film Festival in the same year.

    Comparte la cima con el Bayern Munich, que en el otro partido de la llave venci por id marcador al Manchester City.Hamsik abri el marcador a los 14 tras un centro de Lavezzi. Tres minutos despu Cavani aument de penal tras una falta del argentino Gonzalo Rodr sobre Lavezzi.He might not be looking his best but he got some points for style. But when asked about the player who wears the most goggles, Horace Grant will most likely be the first to come out. Glasses are also in, first worn by one of the great players George Mikan.Remove when done. Cool, slice and eat. Eat lots.Every year on November 11, the British celebrate remembrance poppy. On this day red poppy lapel pins are widely worn. All the political leaders, celebrities and television personalities wear these poppy lapel pins in honor of the dead soldiers.

    State and local organizations can make life’s daily challenges a little more bearable for single mothers and others. Here’s how to find grants to help single mothers pay for those daily expenses.Women, Infants and Children.Marine Chain: This chain has a unique pattern in which between every two oval links there is a bar or a post placed vertically. This salomon mountain design follows throughout the chain to give it a very modern and urban appearance. It can be worn with a t-shirt or a formal shirt to give the outfit a new look.It all depends on what you and your partner define as “too fast”. Research shows that the average man will ejaculate within 1-3 minutes of penetration, while the average woman will orgasm after 12-15 minutes! With such a large gap it is no cheap jordans for sale surprise that more than 30% of guys suffer from the anxiety of premature ejaculation!

    Adidas launched in China to NetEase, as of the conclude of very last yr, the Group has opened over 900 reduced tier metropolitan areas in China about seven,800 retail shops. adidas jeremy scottAdidas final year’s improvement can be described as the twists and turns in China, in April final calendar year, NetEase has exceptional coverage of the only immediate manufacturing unit Adidas shut down in China, triggering great problem of the business. “Adidas shop structure is hard for the status quo of China’s domestic athletics brand will be even wo

    Cheap Nike trainers can be found only online. Sites get these products straight from the brand’s deposit,s o they can afford a lower price while stores are caught in more costs. That is why, the exact same model, manufactured form the same materials and by the original brand, are more expensive in the actual store, than they are online.Toward the end of your pregnancy I can help your body prepare for childbirth and even do acupressure and cupping therapy to help naturally stimulate labor when you are near or past your due date. Many controlled studies have found massage to have a variety of health benefits for the mother and baby. Read more about my pre/postnatal massage.