What is a Munchy Box?

In the west of Scotland, in the towns and villages surrounding Glasgow, there is a delicacy available in some of the more discerning fast-food outlets. It’s called the Munchy Box (sometimes just Munch Box) and it’s a sight to behold. The one I bought for this article is a regular-sized one, in a 10″ pizza box for about a fiver, but they can come in 12″ or beyond for eight quid and up.

The box. Give me the box.

The box. Give me the box.

Upon opening your Jock Monsieur, you will see a layer of Doner Kebab meat on top of a Naan Bread, maybe with some Glasgow Salad (chips) poking out from underneath. The wonders that await!

mmm ... kebabby goodness

We need a bigger boat

Once the top layer has been removed, you can clearly see the two tubs of Sauce, the Glasgow Salad on the left and the Crappy Salad in the middle with the Onion Rings, Pakora and Chicken Tikka all huddled together for warmth on the right.

How much food?

All that heavenly Glory

As a serving suggestion, I’ve laid it out with the crappy salad atop the chips, a piece of chicken tikka balanced on top of the salads, an onion ring surrounding a piece of pakora, a wall of doner meat served with a feuille of naan with a choice of two sauces. Sparkling Italian rosé replaced the traditional Irn Bru, but purists be damned!

The box. Give me the box.

A wafer thin mint, monsieur?

Or, alternatively, you could just shovel half down your Tennents-lined gullet whilst dropping the other half (crappy salad deliberately, the rest less so) on the pavement.

Next time, I may brave the hallowed Pizza Crunch Supper for your delection. With a half-pizza deep fried in chip-shop batter and piled on a wodge of chips, it truly is the champion of the artery-hardeners.

About the author. I’m an Englishman that lives in Scotland. I used to live here a while back, and in the last year just returned here after 8 years in Paris. This will give my culture shock the background it needs. My Munchy Box was the £4.95 10″ from Tandoori Nights, Stonehouse. Clicking on any images will bring up a 1920px wide version. Comments would be vastly appreciated. Oh, and just because photographs are available on the internet doesn’t mean you can use them without permission. I use a Attribution-Non-Commercial-Share Alike 2.0 Generic license on my photos.

Jared Earle is a writer, photographer and systems administrator. You can find him on Twitter most of the time.

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  • Rich H

    never knew about this delicacy ! cheers for the info.

  • Scott Earle

    Just by way of being all modern etc., I decided to post my first comment to a blog. And in the best of traditions, it’s the first comment on this article and it’s *already* off-topic!

    Your weather pixie is in Paris – you probably want to have a word and haul its arse up to the frozen northern wastes.

  • http://imaginary-review.blogspot.com The Imaginary Reviewer

    Fuck me, that looks superb! It’s several meals in a box! Reminds me of those wines that come in handy boxes for all-night booze enjoyment greatness. How long did it take to eat?

    • FROSTYstranger

      Nobody can finish a munchie box. It’s actually impossible.

  • http://fourthirds.cc THOR

    That looks awesome. My gustatory tastes tend to run the lower end of the gamut, so that looks right at home in my … well, home.

  • http://jared.23x.net Jared Earle

    @The Imaginary Reviewer: It took two days to eat. It’s not my first, though. A large one is unmanageable by one normal sober person, over no matter how many days. You need to have at least two of you and some cats and be prepared for it to be dinner, breakfast and maybe lunch.

  • Big Bazza

    That looks like a thing of gastronomic delight. I think you will have failed to appreciate it fully with your choice of beverage.
    Tainting your pallate with fizzy rose? Shame on you sir!

  • http://jared.23x.net Jared Earle

    While it was photographed with a glass of Ros, it was polished off with a 2l bottle of Barr’s finest.

  • http://www.phling.com Graeme

    Do they deliver to the USA? I want one of those!

  • Zooki

    I’m a Scotsman living in England, if I send you a fiver, can you send me one of those down, that’d feed me for a week.

  • Chandano

    Sounds great! I want one! How long before it gets to the states, or shall I move to Glasgow?

  • Hungry Vegetarian

    That is making me, a 20 year observing vegetarian, drool.

    If only everything was deep-fried in batter – that would make me meat-curious… ;-)

    BTW – I knew an American who worked in Scotland for a while – he found a chippy that did pizza, so he ordered it and was confounded that it was a fun-size pizza dipped in batter and fried. Sounds good to me!

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  • medeux

    ah yes…the gastronomic delights of Scotland. I once, in my younger days, consumed a deep fried pizza with chips and that Edinburgh delicacy…brown sauce. Had it not been for the binge drinking before hand I would have never been tempted by this treat. The fuzzy grease still sticks to the roof of my mouth lo these many years.

  • http://chipsrantz.blogger.com adam

    We have something like that in the US. Located in Rochester, New York.
    Here’s the original, http://www.garbageplate.com/ while there are a few copies around the area. Typically, 2 cheezburger patties with fried potatoes, pasta salad and all topped with onions, mustard and hot (pepper/meat?) sauce.

  • Colin

    Jared, this is a true delight. I had one of those last week (not to myself thankfully) and even 2 of us couldn’t finish it. The mushroom pakora is a particular treat – little buttons of spicy, deep-fried joy! God, I love Glasgow sometimes…especially when we’re world leaders in the culinary world.

  • Pol x

    “Upon opening your Jock Monsieur”

    Ha ha ha that is brilliant.

    On the one hand I am sufficiently sophistcated in my tastes to get the allusion, but not to much so. As I eye the contents of the Munchy Box with a drooling mouth and growling stomach.

    That looks brilliant.

    Proof it were needed that you can take the boy out of Glasgow but not Glasgow out of the boy!

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  • Owl Lawyer

    God Damn me almighty Lord!
    That shit looks amazin’
    Im wantin one now here in Philly USA

  • http://pjmomma.wordpress.com pajama momma

    I need that and a Newcastle NOW!!!!!!!!!!

  • http://www.23x.net Jared Earle

    ps. Loyal readers, fancy giving it a Digg?

    http://digg.com/food_drink/What_is_a_Munchy_Box_2

    :-)

  • Duffy

    Tarnation! I’m a-wantin’ me one a them things, too! Can’t believe the US has fallen so far behind in junk food technology.

  • Cris Kennedy

    Egad! I thought the battered and deep fried Mars Bar took the cake, but I am always pleased to be proved wrong.

  • Trev

    My brain says no my belly says goooo…!!!!

    Looks like just the thing for a Saturday morning hangover.

    They should put some buffalo wings in that thing just to get another continent into the box.

    This is just one of the reason why I don’t miss living in the UK.

    /Trev (Stockholm)

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  • Eli

    If you want one in the USA, look no further than the Garbage Plate, made famous by Nick Tahou’s in Rochester, NY

    http://whatscookingamerica.net/History/GarbagePlate.htm

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  • Numnuts

    Looks like a delightful & pleasing pallett endeavor.But that salad does looks old & wilted.
    What kind of ale is good to drink with it?

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  • cyclelb

    Well it’s called a “munchy box”

    did you try this in the right state of mind?

    I couldn’t try this without some legit chronic

  • http://www.planetpeschel.com Bill Peschel

    Oh, to be 21 again, and with my cast-iron stomach.

    So what is the “crappy salad”? Is it just a regular salad?

    And what’s it doing there, being tortured?

  • Quake D. Bunny

    Deep fried Snickers, deep fried pizza AND a Munch(y) box! My god what those Scots won’t think up next!!! We are so moving to Scotland!

  • Jinx

    I think Warden McKief just shat herself!

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  • killjoy

    Dear GOD it’s the ugly offspring of a bain marie and an epileptic fit!

    Oh bravo on the rose, nice touch.

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  • rosie

    ah kids, thats just the tip of the iceberg,,….last night i had a chicken balti pizza……….great if you cant make your mind up……although i did fancy a chicken sweet and sour pizza……..but this weekend after some oat soda shandys and grey breezers i will be induging in the glory that is (for those in the know) the king of street meat.

    A SAR BENI..!!!!!!!!!!!..ALL HAIL THE SAR BENI..

  • http://www.errantdreams.com/ heather (errantdreams)

    Terrifying creation you’ve got there!

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  • the scotty dog

    Another classic munch after a night on the lash, is a “scoobie snack”.
    its a burger with cheese, onion rings, bacon, fried egg, tattie scone, and a little bit of salad. all for about 2.50!!!!!!!

  • Shansuke Nakamura

    Me no rikey da muncho box.

    Me rike pizza clunch!

  • Shavolier

    I’ll be havin one of those bad boys tonighty… along with a battered pizza :D

  • http://www.23x.net Jared Earle

    Welcome b3ta readers. Tuck in!

  • http://wjbf.tumblr.com Wendy

    Man – I thought it was going to be a kebab pizza supper… (which I am now duly jonesin’ for)… that looks awesome.
    I’m an expat in Canada, and preggers, and having monster cravings for a pizza supper, spring roll supper – and now I want this!!!

    Chips. Proper chips.
    How I miss ‘em.

  • biggaz

    Indeed the Munchy box is a wonderful thing. I have seen them offered on Glasgows south side with a small pizza replacing the donner meat to give it that continental touch.

  • olivier8

    you could feed a whole african country with a couple of these
    =)

  • UmBongo

    the cullinary delights of a sarbeni really must be tested. I’d recommend the ever-amazing Best Kebab next to Queen Street Station

  • ashtraygirl

    You will find that the Munchy box is not only available in Glasgow!

    I live in Glasgow these days but my brother pointed out to me that the same thing is available from certain chippies in my home town of Stafford, in the West Midlands of England.

  • The Sloth

    Anyone ever tried a Sar Beni? I believe they have them in Glasgow but I tried one in Wales once… like a massive doner kebab only using an oval shaped 10 inch long pizza base instead of pitta or naan bread.

  • Wee stoater

    Fandabydozy! this is the biz. Nea messin aboot. it makes majic projectile vomit. I did a van gough wae mine last night aw over ma maw’s elivs 45′s. pebble dashed all the bog too. ya bramer. git wan or git chibbed. Ya bass.

  • http://globalvariables.net/.out/ stx

    As a Glasgow escapee, this makes my heart leap. In fear.

    Do they still make the stoner kebab? If memory serves it’s a battered sausage wrapped in kebab meat, then battered again and deep fried.

  • http://www.theurbankitchengardener.co.uk Scottiriddell

    Im afraid to report that the “stoner Kabab” is a reality and just as described…… Ohhhh my aching arteries….

  • Zoe

    the best munchy box in glasgow bar none is from lassani’s in m. florida, kwality scran – a heart attack in a box – lovely!

  • killslay

    my local kebab shop does their munchy boxes with donner meat, mushroom pakora, vegetable pakora, chicken wings, spicey chicken and they put cheese over the chips… and they remove the rubbish salad to make room for even more meat! its like this munchy box but with more chance of heart failure

  • http://globalvariables.net/.out/ stx

    I’ve just had a revelation, I know how to improve this. Imagine how amazing it would be deep fried.

  • Steven

    I am weeping anew for the starving children of the world. One half of the world takes in more calories than any human should consume in a week. the others, many of them children sit quietly in the dirt fields…. their eyes covered in black blowflies waiting for the hand of death to grip their shoulders. Anyone who would undertake eating such a ‘pile’ of heart attack promoting food should first make a donation to the starving children in every nation.

  • http://www.s8airsoft.com Scapey

    Hehheh.
    I was about to post about the “Staunner.”

    It’s not named after weed-smokers, BTW… The reference is a bit more anatomical than that :|

  • Freegas McCheese

    now we’re talking, if I send you a postal order for 5.22 can you stick a stamp on the box and bung it in the post to me?

  • Freegas McCheese

    stuff it, post it to africa – there’ll be plenty left over for me

  • jdp1962

    This is just glorious. The only thing it needs to make it perfect is…….., well, a pizza, I guess.

  • Kebab Pizza

    I just saw one of these, on the pavement – ready to go.

    Also, a couple of years ago, my mate and I went into a place that does these and got a ully loaded kebab pizza. When we were paying for it, the guy behind the counter said, “anything else”, and my mate shot back with “aye, an ambulance”.

    Oh, the banter.

  • Marky

    Wow Jared… I’m stunned, this is 100% pure win and awesomeness rolled into one massive multiple meal that potentially could last for days. I will be undertaking a pilgrimage to Glasgow to track down the legendary Munchy box, you never know it may be necessary to try one from more than one of these discerning fast-food outlets. Take a bow Jared for introducing this to the world. Now we know why Glasgow was chosen as European City Of Culture 1990 :-)

    Oh and “Steven” (June 13th, 2008 at 7:48 pm) I just hope your comment was so tongue in cheek that you couldn’t fit any more doner meat in there, otherwise you can take your bleeding heart starving children shite elsewhere.

  • Steve guy

    that looks bloody lush, don’t think i could dust that on my own in one sitting though

  • Andy

    Good skills! Using the weight-watchers online calorie counter I calculate that to be a gut-busting 2037 calorie dinner. It contains 0 portions of fruit and veg and an artery jamming 104.6 of fat – mostly saturated. Taken with 0 litres of water and an optional extra four cans of tennents super (1462 calories) you need look no further for all your daily energy.

  • Ben Zyl

    A multi carry-out place in Whitecraigs (near Edinburgh) used to deep fat fry the kebab meat pizza if you asked, they folded it in half and battered it to stop the fixings falling out of course.

  • Mon The ‘Lok

    From the pages of a well-known music magazine many years ago:

    I CANT BELIEVE ITS NOT BATTERED!

    Ten Great Traditional Scottish Foodstuffs

    1 Bridie
    Colloquial term for apparently sat-upon Cornish pasty. Chief constituents: mince, onions, gristle not unknown for Scots butcher to be seen scraping pigs head for extra yummy meat filling. Flat, postable pies bought from bakers and considered part of staple diet for hardy working class braveheart who has no idea what Bridie is short for either.

    2 Lorne sausage
    Land hardly ever frequented by Billy Connolly has its own brand of black pudding: on average a two-footer, which is sold in sliced-up form, its leathery skin hiding pinky oatmeal-dominated, meat-offcut innard. Serving suggestion: take crunchy cross-section, fry-up in arse fat, bang on bread roll, eat, wonder if mysterious Lorne family ever do this. (PS. Sausage rumour abounds that, if left in darkened cupboard for three days, pubic hair grows on it)

    3 Deep-fried Mars bar
    Cruel, borderline-xenophobic campaign of gastronomic hatred against Hue & Cry-loving nation, begun in earnest this year when many English-based broadsheets ran frankly true story about Paisley chip shop whose house speciality is battered choc bar, lobbed, some say inappropriately, into boiling fat. Topic, Kit Kat, Yorkie all proved hot favourites. Emergency cardio-vascular surgeons recruited from around globe(See also: deep-fried pizza, invented after particularly exciting Rangers match in Dundee. Note: deep-fried pizza in batter unless chippy proprietor prefers hospital food, ie wants fight)

    4 Pie on a roll
    Self-explanatory presentation of Scotch Pie involving non-fucking-granary bap and high-in-poly-fucking-unsaturates-pal spread.

    5 Stovies
    Take some potatoes. Cook tae fuck ( Anton Mosimann). Mash. Take onions. Annihilate (until brown, slimy and ropey). Add to mash. Add corned beef (if Cullens are out of less authentic meat pure). Call stovie, because it was cooked on stove (unlike all other Caledonian comestibles, which are prepared in vegetable steamer with drizzle of Spanish extra virgin olive oil, I DONT THINK)

    6 Haggis
    Much-lampooned in Beano, original bag o shite (ie sheeps belly-sack/oatmeal/offal combo) is, in actual fact, sought-after delicacy enjoyed world over by connoisseurs of manky evil in a dead balloon.

    7 Macaroni Cheese Pie
    Who said north of border was no-go area for our vegetarian brethren? In fact, poncified Newton Mearns district of Glasgow is sloppy-pasta-curd-on-crote capital of Scotland. NB: delicious deep-fried with meat.

    8 Tunnocks Tea Cake
    Glasgow-manufactured confection in garish, custard-yellow box with cellophane window, unchanged in gooey white interior or individual foil-encased exterior since Harry Lauders youth. Frankly loaded Tunnock family seemingly undaunted by fact that Tea Cake is not real tea cake, but choccy marshmallow. NB: delicious dunked in McEwans Export. (See also: Tunnocks Caramel Wafer: hazard to denture-wearing fraternity, but is, at least, actually caramel wafer)

    9 Shortbread
    Come New Year or Hogmanay ( English TV executives) Celtic homes virtually paved with pale, over-dry, pre-scored biscuit out of significant tartan-design tin with deer on. Traditional recipe contains extra salt (like, non-traditional version is way too moist)

    10 Smoked salmon
    Only found in supermarkets in South East England. NB: delicious with squeeze of lemon, sprinkle of fresh dill, and tiny triangles of brown toast after scag binge.

  • louise

    Good Lord!!! Do they deliver to the Costa Blanca… it’s too healthy here, and we have to keep swimming in the pool to keep cool, so that doesn’t help to keep the fat on, and I’m trying soooo haaard!! may one of these will help.

  • fan-DAN-go

    You have just brought back some student memories and my arteries are not thanking you. I used to get these from a takeaway in Salford near the Castle Irwell student village. My digs were a dive so it was only right to consume food as filthy, if not filthier, than my surroundings. Tasty good, but not as good as the North East delicacy that is the mighty Parmo.

  • Pete

    That is the most truly disgusting picture of food that I have ever had the misfortune to witness in my entire life.

    Yuuuuuck!!! :))

  • TheDruthHurts

    Excellent. I’ll have two, please. One to eat and one to put on a pedestal and worship.

  • http://tellumo.net/ Adam

    Dang. Do they do deep-fried Irn Bru in Scotland? It seems like the next logical step.

    Also: anyone from the UK who claims that American food is way too fattening hasn’t a leg to stand on. There’s so much cholesterol in that thing that it can raise people’s blood pressure as far away as Jersey.

  • The Mogul

    God it makes me proud to be a weegie*

    Multiple Munchy boxes are the way forward when you have a flat full of hungry stoners. Other local gastronomic delights are the Sar Beni, the deep fried pizza and, of course, the unbelievable wonder of the Scooby Snack! (a burger with bacon, egg, black pudding, square sausage, links sausage and ketchup all in one roll! Deserving an article itself methinks)

    And of course, this must only ever be consumed accompanied by an ice cold can of Irn Bru: The Diabetics nightmare. Phenomenal!

    (*”glaswegian to any of you sassenach buggers”)

  • http://hummerlimo.wordpress.com Rampa

    I found this scotland post interesting. I’m looking forward to what you post next. :D

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  • hostage

    you don’t get these in auld reekie!

  • http://SPAMMER Cake Coffee Crunch

    coffee grinders <== I am a Spammer. Please forgive my fucktardedness.

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  • http://www.getitforpeanuts.com Ian

    I think I could have a good go at finishing one of those – sober!!

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  • tony

    I am an English man and I remember the first time I went up ther to work and as is normal after a good scoop hit the first take away. I ordered a mince pie and chips and was horrified when he put the pie in the deep frier, I thought he must have F##cked up. Alas this was the norm as are MARS bars dipped in batter and deep fried. It is a wonder that the Scots aren,t all die of heart attackes with all the fat and grease they devour.

  • Martin House

    Scruptioso. Defo going there next holidays.

  • Nick

    As a scotsman in exile in Australia, I have been looking at the yummy proper chips, none of this crunchy shite. Big, soft, greasers that coat the roof of your mouth mmmmmm!!!!!!

  • http://lovetheme4awilderness.wordpress.com/ papalamour

    hmmmmmmmmmm i want one, but do they do an organic version?

  • http://www.tallyho-barfbarf.co.uk Stellios

    Indeed, ambrosia hath been re-discovered!!!

    However, the mind boggles at the price… one can only assume the “meat” content to be lower than whale sh!te, and all handling procedures brought in line with that most economical of food preparation policies: “Slap It In Fast As And If You Sneeze, Just Cover Any Evidence With Some ChilliSauce” (from the best selling authors of “Pitta Bread and other handy surface cleansers”)

    As for the “Crappy Salad”, Im curious is this of vegetable origins? From your photos (and perchance a trick of the flash here methinks) it looks strikingly reminiscent of a cluster of large threadworms!

    And so to the final salute: Congratulations on demolishing this beast of a dish and surviving long enough to complete your post. Pure Culinary Genius.

    Good Luck with the arteries

    Stellios.

  • Toilet

    Eat up fat asses.

  • Shev wals

    Yes, it looks immense! I’m printing out the pictures now as we speak so I can take it down my local to see if they can copy it! I’m starving!

  • Lynn

    No wonder the nations health is going down the pan. Can’t believe so many people actually found this a good thing. Looks like something you have trodden in!!!! to all those who want to try it happy heart attack.

  • Dan

    *cue tons of insecure blokes wanting to be blokes by cooing over something so vile but ‘manly’*

    That meal is a picture of why Scottish people die younger than any other Brit. Possibly also why all Scots are mad.

  • grimupnorth

    Had an almost identical “munch box” in Kincardine last week, at a take away out the back of Garvies bar. proof that the munch box concept is breaking free from the weegie zone and spreading East.
    I finished it, but felt rather sick afterwards.

  • Lou

    Wow this thing is immense… perfect after pissup food, although you may as well save time and stomach acid by spending the five quid, then flushing it straight down the toilet, just to save you the bother of doing it later!

  • Steven

    Its great to hear some people mentioning the Sarbeni. I have only just recently started eating these magical things, even if I am all the way over at the the top of Sauchiehall Street I will still stagger the whole way down the road to get a Donner Sarbeni from Best Kebab.

    All hail the Sarbeni and also big shout out for the munchy box !!

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    Nice website!!

  • Sexyboots

    Belter!

  • http://Beta AnadldoSlim

    This is not meant to cause too much alarm, but the “munchie box” has been available as far east as Livingston for several years now so the ” ex pat ” ‘Soap Dodgers”…( Glaswegians ) In Edinburgh could even have one trucked in!!!

  • Leigh

    I’m hungry now

  • Mike

    NOM NOM NOM

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  • Matt

    “Several meals in one”????

    Are you a little girl? Thats a starter where I come from.

  • johnston

    go back to england then.

  • Fran Davies

    well, you know, I know an Oz based Scot and he tells me he misses this like crazy, can someone send him one please!!!

  • Tony C

    Extraordinary…. I see the ‘degustation’ concept has leapt to an unheard of level in Glaswegia. And it saves washing up five courses-worth of dishes and cutlery. It makes me proud of my distaff Scottish heritage! Whoever said “you canna can a canny cant” was 100 per cent co-wrecked. TC, Melbourne, Austrralia

  • Joe Parsons

    That’s not a “munchy box” its a “nose bag!”

  • Big Mac

    A favourite. Me and my pal usually do a 16 inch between us. It has been a long process training up from a 12 inch box. Its not pretty but we get the job done, generally suffering from a few bouts of what we have diagnosed as “chest death” in the process. We put our own twist on it by grating a block of cheddar and dumping that in the box as well. Magic.

    I’ll never forget the first one I had. Unsure of the portion size me and my friend also purchased a portion of chicken pakora and a burger meal deal. I have never felt so stupid.

    When we are feeling particularly hungry we will stop by the chippy on the way home for a bag of real chips with it. If you really want to give a good account of yourself it helps if you skip dinner.

    I’ve not had a sarbeni for a while. Other favourite include haggis or sausage suppers, hoggies (donner chips and cheese wrapped in a chapati with donner sauce), and king kebabs (every type of meat in the place piled on top of a nan bread, gave me the worst food poisoning ever once, so I don’t really eat them that much anymore). Other than that any pizza meal deal on the go, where the pizza follows the usual 3 layer format of base, with cheese in the middle and a good half inch of fat sitting on top.

    I must admit I have never been brave enough to try a macaroni pie, however, I have however had a chicken curry pie which is pleasantly revolting.

  • Lynsey

    Oh dear. Oh dear oh dear.

  • http://www.mercurythread.co.uk/blog/ Mike

    When I wake up in the morning on the couch surrounded by the eminating odour of last nights donner meat and all I can see is a lrge pizza box staring me in the face it means that I’ve genrally got so drunk that I’ve lost all reasoning and actually purchased one of these.
    This is a rare occurance but is a stain upon my soul.
    Where I come from there is a symptom of munchybox-itis known as the “munchy box belly” (not to be confused with the ‘bacardi breezer belly’). Where young girls develop these strange fat guts which are impossible to replicate through any mneans other than constant consumption of the fat combination available only in 12″ munchy boxes – the rate at which ‘munchy box belly’ develops does appear to be inversely realted to the distance from which the munchybox-itis sufferer lives in relation to the nearest munchy box stockists. Placing you at higest risk when you are only equi-’delivery’-distance from more than two munchy box distributors and live further than one mile away from both. This places you inside the ‘cheap’ delivery area and are not close enough to smell the rancid stench of rotting munchy boxes generally found within scottish town centers.

  • Occultus

    Yum! Just what the Doctor ordered.

  • jaymax66

    Glasgow’s form of ethnic cleansing

  • http://www.istianity.co.uk/home.htm Johnist

    As a Scotsman living in England, it gives me great pleasure to inform you all that I’ve found a shop that sells such culinary delights a mere 5-minute walk from my front door.

    Except for the pakora: apparently it fecks up his fryer. Gar.

  • Marky

    Anyone care to name some of the fine establishments who sell this culinary masterpiece or similar, ideally with town / street names so the poor fuckers who aren’t Jocks can give this a try?

  • Clarkie

    The best Muchy Box is from Chili Waves in South Queensferry and costs 5.95.

  • The Chomper

    Sure there must be a Munchy Box war about to abrupt in Bellshill..

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  • http://blog.jofftastic.co.uk Joff

    Heaven in a box right there and it’s the Scots we have to thank!

  • http://www.youtube.com/user/vaticanhater Mad Roonsa Don’t Mess

    One of my favourite quotes from Alan Partridge is : “It’s called cholestrol. Scottish people eat it.” A munchy box in Glasgow, as my wife has just told me, means different things in different parts of Glasgow. Some do pizza instead of the Doner meat but the concept is the same. It’s for neds n arseholes whose diet consists of Pot Noodles and Mars Bars.

    I have to object to the insinuation that the bad diet kick is only a Scottish problem. I work in England a lot and some of the food you can get down there is awful. In fact, get this, deep fried Mars Bars – the first place I ever saw them on sale was in York! Guy who ran the place was Scottish right enough but it’s not Scots he’s selling to, is it?

    GERTCHA!

  • juicygi

    so much food, so little money …

  • Philippe

    Always nice to see an Englishman (another country known for great Culinary tradition) comment on Scottish “fine cuisine”. To me this does not look any different in presentation and/or nutritional value than any other overcooked pub lunch you get in England!

  • tam

    Nice to see a local “delicacy” on the net, the munchy box is the king of meals after a night on the “sauce” its pretty good stuff, true probably about as unhealthy as you can get, but its worth it!! ( i think i’ll be calling flames and getting me one of these later on)

    (it was obvious you werent scottish from readin the article, only people who arent scottish thinks we drink tennants, its bath water!!)

  • danno

    “To me this does not look any different in presentation and/or nutritional value than any other overcooked pub lunch you get in England!”

    I can second that with certainty!!!

  • taekwondomaster

    Wish I was still living in Stonehouse

    I would have washed that lovely nosh down with a bottle of Buckfast

  • Pierre Le gros zizi

    I am sure you miss a good old fashioned ‘grec frites’

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  • http://thefatexpat.blogspot.com alexander

    Well, a mate of mine in Dubai mailed me a link to this, so you would have appeared to have gone global with this little piece of traditional Scottish cuisine!

    Here’s to the new national dish!

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  • Bootay

    Fuck me, it’s looks like my wifes cunt..!!!

  • http://www.tallyho-barfbarf.co.uk Stellios

    rofl

  • Jon

    I remember having the dubious honour of trying to eat one of these last year, whilst visiting my sister. I recall eating rather a lot of it, but appearing to make no impact on the size of the food mountain in front of me.

    I wonder just how many days it took off my life?

  • http://thumbrella.blogspot.com Gary

    Looks awesome and reminds me of the time I lived near Edinburgh – I remember well my first ever deep fried pizza (with salt ‘n’ soss) – terrific!

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  • Another Gary

    Hmmm thats makes me hungry. A++ on presentation.

  • Samuel Smith

    That is the most glorious thing I have ever seen. My life has changed now i’ve seen the munchy box. How I got here I’ll never know , I was only searching google for “deep fried opal fruits”

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  • http://myspace.com/stoppingpowerhc ian

    Agg god, a munchie box.
    the most delicious delecacy this side of port glasgow

  • Rich

    I’ve just had breakfast, but it’s making me hungry again. It must be the /4 Scottish in me!!

  • Owain

    We just need to get munchy-box-eating recognised as an Olympic sport. It’ll be Scotland vs USA I think in first two places, maybe Aus in bronze?

  • Lotaresco

    That’s awful, it looks like someone has thrown up in a box.

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  • crackingup
  • rooni

    Far too healthy…Not a patch on the good ol’ scottish chinky!!

  • http://www.knowhere.co.uk/Port-Glasgow/Inverclyde/Scotland/messages Jim Fae Scotland

    Jared, ” Now fuck off out of my kitchen “….lol

    ps, Would’nt be great if you could order one of these to your door……

  • http://www.23x.net Jared Earle

    Several places round here do indeed deliver them to your door. However, as reported above in Inverclyde Now, delivery drivers may get mugged for them.

  • http://stumble Pete

    Lets just say, with Barr’s finest, this goes down a treat. AND keeps well for breakfast!

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  • Westo Coast Waster

    I phone and order the great Munchy Box often,delivered to my door with a 2 litre bottle of Irn Bru.

    Never finished one yet and there’s foru of us in here. takes great the next day ‘het up’ :D

  • Tim

    This food is a dietary staple in Merseyside and my daughter’s favourite meal, despite which she maintains a Kate Moss-esque figure (How unfair). Can’t quite stomach it myself :o)

  • Selhurst

    Amazing. We don’t get this delight on the South Coast but I can imagine it’s a taste explosion followed by a coronary. I also think that it looks like Bootay’s wife’s badger.

  • Eli

    Once in a while, but not often, we need coronary food …as well it sounds great especially if its named after me….the FOOD LOVER, and this one is good after a few Bodis or so :o)

    I am the Munch !

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  • Nick

    Emmmmmmmmmmmmmmm Nice. Now I am vegetarian if I wasnt I would have gone through that no problem. After a night out that would be fantastic the greasy food delicious!!!

  • http://www.driverlot.com DriverFinder

    Oh my god, this looks delicious, and as I am hungry at the moment you totally made my stomach sing :)

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  • Nate

    just returned from a semester in Stirling, Scotland. the munch box was a weekly takeaway purchase for my flat. or just me…

  • Martin

    It’s like a kebab meal-deal! I need to find somewhere in Huddersfield that does these…

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  • http://kera.name Tomalak Geret’kal

    Lols… sweet.

  • Oh!

    I live in Rochester, NY and we have something similar. We call it a Garbage Plate and I had never heard of them until I moved to Western NY. They are scrumptious, and usually just what you need after a long night out.

    http://rocwiki.org/Garbage_Plates

    yum! now i have to go get one….

  • http://www.msm.com Mike from Ilkley

    That would be simply delicious atop a gallon of bargain supermarket vodka.

  • http://www.thedicebag.com Bob

    As I said on Twitter you’ve put me in the mood for a munchy box but after reading the comments I’m wishing I could get a chicken donner sarbeni from Riginals just round from Central Station or whatever colour they’ve decided to call it these days.

  • GMacD

    NASTY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  • http://i-heart-cupcakes.blogspot.com/ Anne

    I’ve sent this to my husband and I imagine he’s looking for flights up that way right now – this looks totally up his street!

  • Disturbed

    Why???????

  • moosen

    I’m moving to Scotland and that’s all there is to it, I don’t know why my ancestors left the place but after seeing this I wish they hadn’t.

  • sparkchaser

    I hope I can find something like this in Edinburgh next week.

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  • Jason Statham

    @Philippe
    Mate you are delusional! This is a heart attack in a box I wouldn’t think a cheese ploughmans or a roast dinner would come anywhere near this in terms of junk value!

  • Bra Strap

    This is quite simply a work of genius and looks sensational.

    Scotland leads where others are frightened to tread.

    I have done the Calzone and chips with extra chillies in a box before before, but never anything as punishing as this. I’d imagine you feel like you’d done ten rounds with Tyson in the morning, but doubtlessly worth every hungover sick feeling moment.

    I salute the commitment to Junk Food.

  • Mazda

    Dirty food mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm!!!

  • http://tipsonhowtogrowtallernaturally.com/ Taller

    That’s a lot of food there :)

  • Y Ehm Eff

    I live just outside Edinburgh and you get a munch box here in a 12″ box. It has doner meat and chips, 2 chicken pakoras, 2 vegetable pakoras and a 10″ ”cheese and tamatty” pizza. All for the shockingly low price of 6.

    Boo Yaa. Thats what I’m having for eats tonight.

  • Laurie from Loveland

    Wonderful wonderful fried delights! Alas, we have no such food here in the cultural barrens, however I would recommend a hoppy IPA to cut the palette.
    Cheers!

  • http://www.gimmeitfree.co.uk Macca

    Why did I ever leave Scotland? I hate my wife for making me move to the South of England, I’m so far away from home and miss the comforts of good old Proper Scottish portions of food!

  • Stoney

    Not bad. Would still go for a turkish burger anyday.

    Don’t ask me what’s in it, I haven’t got a clue other than burger, bacon, cheese and kebab meat. The rest is unknown!

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  • British Food

    I love donor meat on a pizza. I think they’re called London Pizzas. I live in the US an I’ve never seen one on the menu.

  • Poppy

    That hilarious… your plate looks way more appetising that the cram of food in the box. Still makes make my wife water. Anyway, I have a British food site in USA. If anyone is interested and miss the home cooked delights.. check me ut at http://www.poppyspantry.com

  • http://www.martinwolfenden.com Martin Wolfenden

    I really need to move to Glasgow.

  • http://twitter.com/ephemeraldog EphemeralDog

    Hardest. Arteries. Evah!

  • Hamish

    If you must drink wine, you should at least make it tonic wine*.

    * does not imply health-giving or medicinal properties.

  • http://www.nealesmith.com Neale Smith

    I’ve had to admit defeat more than a couple times, I didn’t go quietly though, oh no, I made sure I was sufficiently ill before I gave up the bounty!!

  • Aaron

    Surely the traditional drink to accompany this should be Buckfast.

  • The Takeaway Gourmet

    What’s the problem, it covers the three main food groups!? Besides your looking at £6.00 plus in Polmont, so it’s a bargain. I note the two types of sauce; the salmon pink for the pakora and the deep red for the kebab – both are interchangeable.

  • http://google.com/uzkbs sandrar

    Hi! I was surfing and found your blog post… nice! I love your blog. :) Cheers! Sandra. R.

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  • F

    Gross.
    Very much like the generalisation that everyone above 54 degrees North in the UK eats that and other saturated fat and salt laden rubbish.

    How many fried chicken chains are there in London?

  • celticgirl

    well they are ok in moderation but its another typical english twat slagging off scotland sure our diet is poor but thats the personal choice of the idividual the odd pizza or burger is ok as long as you dont over do it so enough of the stereotyping of scots, i think they eat just as much kebabs in england and there is an awful lot more inbred thugs in the inner cities down there.

  • http://www.23x.net Jared Earle

    celticgirl :

    well they are ok in moderation but its another typical english twat slagging off scotland

    I think you misunderstood me. I like both Munchy Boxes and Scotland. Sorry if it came across as patronising, but you’ve got to admit the Munchy Box lends itself to a comedic appraisal.

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  • Dan Martin

    @F

    what on this good earth are you talking about? the MB is a cultural revolution – certainly no worse than many common foodstuffs…..

  • http://nothere.com Bob

    I think this looks awesome, i mean seriously awesome.. Scots sure know how to eat.

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  • DAvid

    You have totally missed the significance of the munch box> it shows how thoroughly cosmopolitain modern Scotland is and how culturally and culinarily enriched we are by our multi/cultural society.

    You see how sophisticated we are with influences you mention from Italy,, Turkey, India and not a haggis in sight.

  • Pieface

    WAAAAANNNNNTTTT!!

    Oh my god that looks so good…

  • Ken McGlothlen

    You know, I have to admit that for £4.95, that would be a fine dinner to split up between three or four people. I’m a bit jealous that we don’t have anything like that over here (the US, West Coast).

  • fat paul

    Typical Heathen,
    Doesn’t iron his tablecloth, eats with just a fork and sets in on the wrong side… bleedin ‘west coast’ style. What is the world coming to? Setting for one (sad b’dard?). Billy no mates? Looks great and be even better, cold for breakfast. How far do they deliver?

  • http://martcross.com Martin

    I live in Glasgow and have never heard of the Munchie Box. But then I’m part of the literati, rather than the nederati. I once had something like that in a Serbian restaurant. It was called “the village plate” and it had all that, plus rice, pasta, sausages and fried eggs. And yes, it was “for one”.

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  • http://www.howdoiblog.com/ Chris H

    Ah, that hardens the arteries with the thought of home! I come from Coatbridge, just outside Glasgow – heart attack capital of the world – for those not in the know, and most of the delicacies contained in that box are a regular staple of the ned/pisshead diet. I must admit though, I have not seen such bounty contained in one box – God works in mysterious ways.

  • Nik

    I love the Haute Cuisine presentation in the last picture. The ‘gesture au juice’ are perfect!

    Looks like you could remake a single 10″ Munch box into half a dozen nouveau entres and turn a tidy profit at twenty pounds a crack (not including gratuity for discourteous service).

  • martinthain

    shouldn’t the sauces have been styled into a comma on the plate, followed by a series of dots¿?¿? …such shoddy presentation :-(

  • roisin

    You sound really arsey. Being English and living in Scotland does not entitle you to take the piss out of us.

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  • andrew

    have to say i do love a good munchie box sometimes about 3 in a week i never knew it was just a scottish thing

  • milkkart

    brillliant, any idea where to find these in edinburgh?

  • http://twitter.com/oldhoborn/status/14091169071 Old Holborn

    RT @ObtuseMusings: Veg and meat all prepped. All i have to do now is turn it on when i can be arsed.>>fuck that http://bit.ly/2OgjFB

  • http://twitter.com/norfolknchance/status/14250758829 James Burns

    @xhupf surely you want a Munchy Box? http://bit.ly/2OgjFB

  • http://twitter.com/msnmoneyjames/status/14359519458 James Andrews

    @amateursuman this – among other things http://bit.ly/2OgjFB

  • http://twitter.com/amateursuman/status/14359957551 Suman Biswas

    Apparently, the "Munchy Box"… http://bit.ly/2OgjFB (thanks, @MSNMoneyJames)

  • http://twitter.com/hellohellophant/status/14549074740 Hello Phant
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  • http://twitter.com/hoodedhawks/status/15647202181 Katie Campbell

    My uncle Dave and I once murdered one of these bad-boys: http://tinyurl.com/5qdv9o

  • http://twitter.com/patrickaureus/status/15648146929 Patrick Lickman

    RT @hoodedhawks: My uncle Dave and I once murdered one of these bad-boys: http://tinyurl.com/5qdv9o

  • http://dunno Mizbitchy

    it’s umm, yeah lol

  • http://wtfthat'sde? POOBALL

    IT LOOKS LKE MY GRANDMOTHERS SHTE SPOGED ONTO A PLATE!! ABSALOTY DISGUSTING!!!! SUM1 CALL THE FUCKING AMBULANCE!!! MY GRANDMOTHER IS SHITING ALL OVER ME!!!

  • Yer maw

    Ha ha. YES. Give me one of themmm.

    But, actually, it is correct to say that Scottish people only eat this because they are so depressed to be part of the United Kingdom.

    Pass the Fauldhouse fromage frais (aka PIES AND LARD).

    :)

  • http://twitter.com/tomafro/status/18030916357 Tom Ward

    @dylanegan Reminds me of this Scottish delicacy: http://bit.ly/l0ys6

  • http://twitter.com/natevanness/status/18139640285 nate van ness

    some recycled goodness from 6/08…when we thought this was a "temporary downturn" http://is.gd/dlRna

  • http://twitter.com/natefitzgerald1/status/18189848443 Nate Fitzgerald

    @Blair_Bookshop I'm above commenting on the Mars. I'd be more apt to comment on this: http://blog.23x.net/5/what-is-a-munchy-box.html

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  • http://www.gazzagonefishing.com gazza

    moaty,moaty it’s me gazza, put the gun down moaty and lets have a munchy box.

  • http://www.rosiesdelicafe.blogspot.com Rosie Lovell

    what a lovely tablecloth!

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  • Pingback: Dinner Time: Glasgow Munchie Box

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  • http://blog.23x.net/5/what-is-a-munchy-box.html HUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!?

    WTFFFFFFFFFF????? ewww man… >.<

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  • http://Ioffendenoughpeoplewithoututilisingbroadcastplatforms claudia

    Jock Monsieur? Let’s not be polite. There’s no Monsieur about it. That’s not even Vous, Jock. It’s Toi! Jock! Salop! yelled across a dark street.

    And I lolled at the rose. Nicely done.

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  • Lucky

    You can get munchy boxes from pretty much everywhere in Scotland, it’s not just limited to the west and Glasgow. Plus, you can eat a 12″ munchy box in one go by yourself…you’ve obviously never met my friends! And that’s them sober. Seriously.

    I would try them, but I hate doner meat. (:

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  • http://www.negotiatenow.co.uk Negotiate Now

    It looks delicious but I haven’t come across one of these culinary delights yet. I just hope our MD at Negotiate Now reads the blog too and gets a box in for our lunch soon. Hint hint hint!

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  • http://smellthecork.blogspot.com/ Roddy Graham

    The “Glasgow Salad”, along with the deep-fried Mars bar, are convenient cultural stereotypes; a grain of truth used to excuse lazy writing.

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  • Niggy Nuts

    Epic!

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  • http://www.ageandanniesramblings.co.uk/ Age

    All I can say is nom, nom, nom.

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  • meisdee

    I live in Central Scotland and those ‘munchy boxes’ are a delicacy around this way too. I have eaten some of the contents from these boxes on several occasions, and each time I wonder why I did it as they really don’t taste that good at all! My stomach always regretted it the next day too, not to mention it’s a heart attack in a box.

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  • FROSTYstranger

    When you start eating one of these you feel like you could finish it. An hour and a half later and there’s still as much food as when you started you just end up binning it.

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  • Neil

    Good piece, just one of the many Scottish fast food crimes, potato scone in a roll?? As an Irishman we have our own but Scotland is the fattest place I have lived. Huge fat people everywhere, plus their takeaways are the worst in the UK. Can’t do chips or fish, plus a sausage has batter as standard! Fat lazy pigs.

    • Here’s Johnny

      shut the fuck up you twat. some the best fish and chip shops are in scotland. as for sausage, there are smoked sausage or battered sausages right in front of you in every shop, not hard to choose is it.ireland isn’t full of fatties too? your trolling!

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